Hello sunshine, ready to learn how to talk to yourself?
No, really, I mean it. Whether you realize it or not, you have constant chit-chat with yourself. This internal dialogue has a huge impact on not only your performance but also your overall psyche.
So, what are you saying to yourself? Are you speaking kindly? Or are you being harsh? Are you uplifting? Or are you judgmental? As cliché as it sounds, you are your biggest cheerleader. Yup, get your mental pom-poms out and cheer yourself on no matter what you’re doing!
Self-talk is exactly what you think it is—the act of talking to oneself, whether silently, internally, or out loud. It’s the ongoing conversation in your mind that influences your emotions, decisions, and actions. This dialogue can be a running commentary on your life, a pep talk before a big event, or even a moment of self-criticism. Self-talk encompasses all the thoughts you have about yourself and your experiences.
Self-talk can be automatic, happening without you even realizing it. It’s influenced by your beliefs, attitudes, and perceptions, shaped by past experiences. Understanding self-talk involves recognizing these patterns and how they affect your mindset and behavior. Whether it’s boosting your confidence before a presentation or calming your nerves in a stressful situation, self-talk is a powerful tool that shapes your reality.
Think about the impact of the words others have had on you. The same kind of impact happens when you talk to yourself. Self-talk influences how you feel, process, and react to any situation.
If you’re looking to enhance your performance, self-talk is a great place to start. If you want to make a positive impact on your daily life, your self-talk needs to include positive affirmations and growth statements. If you want to build your confidence, your self-talk needs to include confident and strong statements about yourself.
You might be thinking, “Great, I know I need to incorporate better self-talk, but that doesn’t stop the negative thoughts.” You’re right! It’s not realistic to expect never to have a negative thought about yourself. But you can become more mindful of when your thoughts slip into negativity and learn how to take control of your internal train of thought.
As you go through your day, listen to the dialogue that already exists. When you start to hear negative thoughts about a situation or yourself, recognize the thought and then pause. Ask yourself what feelings are sparked by these thoughts and if those emotions are positive or negative. Becoming more aware of when your thoughts turn negative is key to shaping your self-talk to be more positive and productive.
Next, reframe the negative thought into a positive or more productive one. How can this negative thought be modified into a different one? One that will more likely lead to a different feeling and outcome. Affirmations and positive mantras are great strategies to reinforce the new positive thought, completely leaving the negative one behind.
Additionally, consider challenging the negative thought. Ask yourself: Is this thought based on facts or assumptions? Would I say this to a friend? By questioning the validity of your negative thoughts, you can begin to dismantle them.
Just like any other skill you want to improve, self-talk requires practice. A great way to get used to morphing your thoughts is to put this into practice every day. Start small. Not every thought needs to be changed right away. What conversation are you having with yourself when you’re brushing your teeth in the morning? Or getting your coffee on the way to work? Finding areas in your daily routine to implement positive thoughts will keep you mindful of your internal dialogue and give you practice.
Keep a journal! This is a great way to track how positive self-talk is impacting your daily life and to perfect your practice. Be honest with yourself and get everything out onto paper. You’ll be surprised by the self-discovery that occurs when you start documenting your thoughts and feelings.
Speak out loud to yourself! This might be uncomfortable at first, but change is uncomfortable. Saying positive affirmations out loud enforces your statements verbally and audibly. You are saying and listening to yourself talk yourself up. Try these statements out loud the next time you’re getting ready for a tough workout, practice, or workday: “I am strong and resilient. I will overcome any and all challenges that come my way. I can do hard things. I thrive under pressure and am successful.”
Another effective practice is to visualize your success. Spend a few minutes each day imagining yourself achieving your goals and feeling positive about your accomplishments. This mental rehearsal can make your affirmations feel more real and attainable.
Finally, surround yourself with positivity. Whether it’s through the people you interact with, the content you consume, or the environments you inhabit, positive influences can reinforce your own efforts to maintain positive self-talk.
When my athletic career concluded, I wanted nothing to do with the gym and had a special hatred in my heart for cardio. I was not interested in moving my body and was completely content with hanging around and not doing anything. It took me a few years to realize that the couch potato lifestyle was not a healthy one and that I needed to find movement and exercise for myself to keep my body and mind healthy.
I was forced to change my self-talk. I needed to reteach myself that I could still complete tough workouts, that I was strong and could overcome the challenges I was putting in front of myself, and I convinced myself that I was a runner.
Let me be very clear here, I played volleyball, which really has no active running involved. I was trained in a sport that valued quick-twitch muscle movements and short bursts of energy exertion. I changed my self-talk and repeated to myself that I am a runner and that I love running. Since I have put this mantra into place, I have shaved 3.5 minutes off my mile time and now crave the time I get to run.
This simple change in self-talk has improved my cardiovascular health and helped me discover a passion I never thought I would have!
Your thoughts and self-talk are powerful tools—are you ready to make a small change today to see big changes down the road? So get to talking to yourself!
Until the next sunrise, XOXO ~ Sarah Lauren